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The Things We Give AwayLiam couldn't keep still.
The restlessness, the agitation, the anxiety—when it got to be unbearable, he would pace across the creaking floorboards of the basement and moan in anguish.
I listened to the rapid pattering of his bare feet below me and wished he would go to sleep. It scared me, his psychosis. There were times when I thought about asking his psychiatrist to up his meds, but I never could. Didn't have the heart to.
A banging noise resonated from downstairs and I jumped. Then sighed. This was getting ridiculous. I needed to talk to him. I needed to calm him down. I forced myself out of bed and groggily meandered down to the dimly-lit basement where, for some reason, Liam felt safe. My bones creaked almost as much as the stairs did as I descended them. I was horribly sleep-deprived. I'd been staying up all hours of the night for the past couple of weeks and it had taken its toll on me. His doctor suggested having him sent to a crisis stabilization facility for a while, if
John at 3:16Dear Jesus Christ,
I went to bed at 3:16 last night and started thinking about John—John who pissed away every paycheck he ever made and only fucked virgins, John who beat up a woman's husband and spent a Christmas in jail, John who shot himself on the front porch of his mother's house. I don't think anyone shed a tear except her. I heard she shed many tears as she cleaned up the mess.
I thought about when I first met him. It was at church. He and I were both eight. He sat next to me and we stared at that stained glass image of you in your white robe with your outstretched, loving arms, and he leaned into me and asked, "Do you believe in Jesus?"
"Of course," I said. "Don't you?"
He didn't answer. But it was Communion that day and he ate your body and drank your blood just like everyone else, and I thought he had to believe in you because you were inside of him.
I asked him once, Jesus Christ, I asked him if he believed in you and he said, "I want to. But everyone says I have
The Sky is Falling TonightThe sky is falling tonight.
My toes curl inward
as I finish off a cigarette
and flick it to the street corner.
Looks like it might rain.
I bite my lip and taste metal.
A car rolls by with the windows
down and a tanned arm
hanging out the side.
My granddaddy once said
that on the very last day
no one will cry except the earth itself.
I can't hear a thing,
but I smell gasoline and regret.
My granddaddy's tombstone
once had a lipstick stain on it
from where my grandmamma
kissed him goodbye.
I won't even have a tombstone.
The playground is vacant,
the swings rocking in the subtle wind
as if carrying invisible children.
The dirt ground below
dips into a concave bowl.
I wonder if
the thumb of Gob pressed it in.
The clouds are charcoal black
and it occurs to me for the first time
that I will die alone.
I hug myself.
A serpentine chill slithers up my back.
But then I realize—
everyone will die alone.
The end will find us all
warped and withered
with nothing left but those fears
we spent o
Abstract Whoever said the world was poured into a glass?
Whoever pointed out the cracks and said they were not supposed to be there?
In the time it took to say hello, the world sent ten billion airwaves filled with radio signals. In the second after all hell broke loose. A smile so powerful it could turn night to day wrenched into the threshold, breaking the nails with every creep. The lights bent at the cracks and prismed into forty different colors of a black star. There slept the door to the house, out on the couch in a sprawledout-strungout way. The death of a thousand suns took me years to apprehend. Yet all the while the birds in the trees rested their dirges on the roof. I don't mean to be tense, but the past has intertwined with the future in a blur of our present.
Whoever said I couldn't take a thousand years in a single stride?
Sunlit Lillies Pastoral glimmers remind me of the hazy couches seen only in the revenants you've become.
Descending glimpses of glistening residue remind me of those eager moments you didn't wait. Of the times I wish I could change. Not for regret, you see, but for prosperity. To say I didn't fail to live, that I didn't fail to breathe for the moment. Wavering all the way I stand here ready for the fight. For the end. For the martyrdom of kingdom come. To all the ones I loved before and to all the ones I will never love after, I give to thee a final reprisal. A stating of events. A last war call before the final charge. Death defying stunts of unimaginable skill performed by candle light in love's empty brace.
Who would question a still meager resolve when lights are out and your pillow is your only vault?
I could gaze into curves of dimension for eternities, but define when it is ends, will you? For fucking once, define when eternity ends. The bones of
EphemeralitySky chasing blues gallivanting on top of clouds, the kings of the atmosphere in eternal hunt of the sun. Long smoke trails escaped my lips, my eyes wandering the wispy fortune tellers dancing before me. My hand behind my head, against the tree branch as I ruminated. Serenity decorated the world around me, the reflection pools strewn wayside throughout the garden beat their trance into my mind. Elan in their nevermore motion, the breezes rolled through the grasses and leaves, embracing me for their moment of love before returning to the road. I riffled the pages of the book on my chest, my coat dancing with the wind. Cigarettes never seemed evil, to me at least. They always gave me a sense of what is precious.
Footsteps through the grass broke my fantasies. I turned my stormy grays to look into the earthy ones below. "Pith, hey, what's crackin?" I effortlessly shifted to sitting on the branch, smashing the life out of my cigarette between my fingers.
Pith stood no more than f
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dire wolvesThe coyotes are singing,
high and wild,
in the unsettled night; the moon
is restless in her sky,
the crickets hold their breath.
The wolf at my feet is on high alert,
body so intense
she trembles, hums
low in her throat -
without the pack-song
you are the swift-hearted prey and
the night has sharp teeth.
Only the keening of the pack
on their endless hunt.
Only the aching.
what mattersThere is a beautiful woman
asleep in my bed,
nothing unrequited here.
I am waiting for the sun to rise,
there is only so much time
and this is a memory I need
to keep,
to write again and again
until
you see what I see,
your long-legged
deer-self,
deep breathing
painlessly
through a steady summer
dawn.
Coyote doesn't need pantiesRaven,
Your eye is sharp and sarcastic.
We are territorial beasts, but
only my voice can reach the updraft
that carries you, endlessly spiraling,
where I roll in the grass, stretch,
and grin.
I have too many awkward ideas and
call you at 3 AM just because I can,
poor sleepy voice stumbling through
the words, but no pity or fear or
slightly cold irritation. You laugh,
eyes not even opened and I'm laughing back,
rolling my broken body in the damp night-grass,
Coyote needs no panties.
I want to write a poem to your wings,
the way you can circle an idea, endlessly,
and always find your way
home.
The door is open,
Sunshine
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Untitled..i.
This is pure poetic impotence—
I didn't wash up onto
the shores of your consciousness,
only shoved my boat there
out of my own selfishness.
A life has happened
while I've been missing—
staring out of blank picture frames
while you moved on
& forgot my name & the belonging,
charring the path back.
There is no reason for this
multitude of emotion—
if it were not for me
you would still live.
I have lost the key to your heart
& like a phantom limb
only I can feel its twitching.
ii.
What right do I have to
invade your life again—
I watched our embers
blink out a month ago
but you forged the wilderness
for new paths to joy
while I curled up in the fireplace
to paint myself in ash.
I was only brought in temporarily
to serve my penance—
I have no place in your ecosystem
except as a parasite coming back
to ruin the beauty unjustly.
My phone sits cradled against
my false hope for reintegration—
unable to dial myself back to you.
iii.
I told people you were having
Strings That Tie to YouI have so many words
churning in my mind—
a hurricane with no eye
that spins & jockeys
until I'm blinded
& only seeing the print
like snow on a television.
In my dreams we have
hours long conversations
in a space so white
it glows—
no walls or furniture,
just a never ending blankness.
We only exist from
the waist up
but also only heads
& you are happier
than I've ever seen—
chattering like some
ecstatic bird
as rushes of color
tint the air psychedelic.
You are strong again
but by the time
I open my eyes
I cannot remember
anything we've said—
all of it like a
garbled radio transmission
of dye & the sound of
your laughter.
I wake up & face a world
that bent you—
text swimming my brain
like the English Channel
& never tiring.
Immeasurable WaitingThey say I'm a prophet. They say it as a passing train forces itself against the tracks like a snuff film. It's said as I walk down the street— eyes folded down like the venetian blinds I've always longed for— muttering to their company, or no one, or the epiphany they wish upon themselves. The words follow me like a silk scarf feeding itself to the wind— pointless in its beauty. Simple in its lack of efficiency. I've learned to not hear it— let it waft away from my body until it gets in my eyes and stings like smoke.
my body is made,
used, in the ghostly world—
sprawled out in the
everlasting, flowering,
trees of decided fate
When does a body cease to exist? Guernica has lived for decades— curled into its greys and blues like a downy nest. Animal heads twisting grotesque as a beacon of the instability we face. The paint dappling itself without the need for a hand— an artist who would convert to the baseless religion. Societal musings vomiting onto a
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thank you all for participating if you don't see yourself and your friends in this issue, you will surely be in the next one feel free to note me with more recommendations for the next features, let's keep up the community spirit of dA the more, the merrier have a great week ahead one and all
Stars of 2014 #8
Hello sweet people how have you all been? I'm being eaten and chewed by work, so sorry for not being very sociable and stuff. But you know you can always send me a note, right? Here's a load of talent for you to check out, so please let me introduce you to...
:heart: ~EsthervanHulsen (https://www.deviantart.com/esthervanhulsen) :heart:
E S T H E R van Hulsen is from Holland, yet currently she's living in Oslo, Norway. She's an experienced artist... "it began about 30 years ago, before I could walk. I do not know why, I just picked up a pen and started drawing. And never stopped. :) " She's inspired by animals and nature "...even when I feel low, animals always cheer me up." A
Stars of 2014 #7
Hello everyone I hope you had a lovely weekend ~happysunplz (https://www.deviantart.com/happysunplz) I've been okay, just really busy. A big thank you goes out to both my old and new watchers for being extra nice and supportive :iconcocoloveplz: Also it's :iconshehrozeameen:'s birthday today please go give him some love.
Now let me introduce you to...
:happybounce: :icondeerArylide: :happybounce:
L A E might be a mermaid :iconmermaidplz: as she comes from the shores of South-Eastern France. She started with photography 4 years ago when she fell in love with a photographer. :love: "At first I did a lot of modeling, but after we broke up I decided to continue by myself an
Stars of 2014 #6
Hello lovely people ~flyingheartsplz (https://www.deviantart.com/flyingheartsplz) I don't know how about you but I can't wait for the weekend to come :eager: Anyways, I hope you'll enjoy today's art collection :gallery: I can promise you a true burst of creativity. Please let me introduce you to...
:frail: :icongabrielevans: :frail:
G A B R I E L Evans comes from Bridgetown, Australia... "As a child I was inspired by the power an illustrator wields in interpreting text. A slight mark on paper can conjure a thousand emotions. I realised I wanted to be able to paint and create like these masters, to create happiness, sadness or wonderment through a visual form." So his reason for
Stars of 2014 #5
~happehdanceplz (https://www.deviantart.com/happehdanceplz) Hello sweet people :blowkiss: Last week was really hectic for me and dA not loading properly wasn't helping, so sorry for the delay in responses ^^; I'll try to get back to you as soon as possible. I hope you had a lovely week and may this one be even better :w00t: Before we go on, I'd like to wish HAPPY BIRTHDAY :party: to a very special person :iconheartballoonplz: :iconkay-march: She's one of the sweetest and kindest people I've ever met, a good friend :love: All the best to you, beautiful :tighthug:
Now please let me introduce you to...
:heart: :iconLaurentGiguere: :heart:
L A U R E N T Giguere comes from Montreal
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Thank you for the wonderful feature. I really appreciate it!